Come With Me Now
by Wynn
Summary: After a mission against Hydra goes south, Bucky needs to escape detection. His solution? Hijack the car of the cute civilian with the glasses and the big blue eyes. Unfortunately for him, Darcy is less civilian and more driver of a talking British car and perhaps the one person on the planet crazier than him.


AN: Title from the Kongos song of the same name. Based of a list of AU prompts on Tumblr, one of which dixiedolittle pointed out/prompted: "You were chased by cops, got into my car, and yelled 'Drive!'" I've reused the Captain Appleseed nickname from "The Best Laid Plans" series because it is too awesome not to reuse. The bumpy ride line is a riff off the famous quotation from _All About Eve_.

Come With Me Now

By: Wynn

_come with me now_

_I'm gonna take you down_

_come with me now_

_I'm gonna show you how_

_\- kongos, "come with me now"_

If she sighed again, Bucky just might have to reform his whole 'reforming former assassin' thing he was trying out and throw a tazer disk at her face. He was running out of ammo and they were running out of space, the Hydra Hummer drawing ever closer, but rather than panic or pray or actually _listen _to him and increase the speed of her car, all the dame beside him did was tap her cherry colored nails against the steering wheel and sigh.

Like now.

"Lady—"

"Darcy. My name is Darcy." She tapped again on the steering wheel and released another sigh. "Not that you thought to ask."

Bucky clenched his teeth and refused to give in to his own sigh. "Darcy. I understand you might be scared—"

"Scared? _Scared?_" Bucky winced as her voice rose to an indignant shrill. "You were chased by cops, got into my car, and yelled 'Drive!' I'm not scared. I'm _bored_."

Bucky blinked at that and finally tore his attention away from the side view mirror. "What?"

Darcy hung a left and huffed out another sigh. "Do you know how many times I've done this this week, this whole high-speed epic chase thing? _Four_," she said as she cast him a look of ultimate despair.

Bucky blinked again. "Four? Really?"

"Yep." As the pop of the 'p' echoed in the small hatchback, Darcy reached for her phone.

"No cops."

She rolled her eyes but at least she didn't sigh again. "Yeah, yeah, dude. I heard you the first dozen times. Do you really think I'm gonna call the cops when I'm currently driving _away_ from them?"

Bucky blinked again. He couldn't help it. "Well, yeah," he said slowly. "I got into your car with a gun and yelled 'Drive!' I forcibly seized your vehicle."

She snorted and scrolled through her contacts. "Uh, no. You did not. My vehicle _let _you get in and then _decided _to help you. Isn't that right, J?"

"That is so, Ms. Lewis."

Bucky prided himself on _not_ immediately shooting the dashboard, the source of the prim British voice that had answered Darcy, though every Hydra induced instinct within him demanded that he do so. He did, however, twist in his seat until he fully faced Darcy. "Who are you?"

She pressed a contact and shot him a sunny smile. "The person who's trying to keep you from getting pinched by the cops."

"They're not cops. They're Hydra."

He couldn't tell if the sigh she released now was more sigh or groan. "Fuck. I _hate _Hydra."

Bucky blinked again. He'd lost count of how many times she'd taken him by surprise. "You… hate Hydra? You _know _Hydra?"

"Duh. I am a fully functioning adult who can read, you know. That's all anybody's been talking about since D.C. Plus, you know, they kidnapped me, so— Hey, big guy," she said, drawing out the greeting to four syllables. "Got incoming." She paused to shove the phone between her cheek and shoulder. Hands free, she navigated the circle and weaved around the thickening traffic. "No. Hydra," she continued after a moment. She followed the subsequent comment with another sigh. "It's not my fault. I swear. I was the innocent bystander here, not the instigator of shenanigans. Speaking of," she said, swinging the car into a tight right turn, "is Appleseed around?" Another pause and another turn, left this time, and another few feet disappeared between them and the Hummer. "Sweet. Tell him he owes me the Deluxe Edition. And the picture," she added, giving Bucky an assessing look. "Signed. Dodger's getting cranky." She ignored Bucky's frown and turned back to the road, shooting through an empty intersection. "Less than five. Prepare to put the hammer down."

She hung up then, lowering the phone and tossing it into the cup holder between them. Bucky tried hard but he couldn't stop the gape, which earned him his fourteenth sigh.

"What?"

"You've been kidnapped," he said slowly. "By Hydra."

Her hands tightened on the steering wheel. "Ugh. Don't remind me. Fuckers ruined my new suede boots the last time they snatched me."

His brows lifted of their own accord. "The last time? Meaning they've taken you more than once?"

"More than once, but less than thrice." She glared at the bus that drifted into their lane and forced her to swerve. "The first time they ruined my favorite coat. Grey wool, wooden toggles. Do you know how hard it is to find a nice coat when you've got small shoulders but huge boobs?"

Bucky resisted the urge to look at either her shoulders or her boobs. "Uh, no. I don't."

"Well, it's fucking hard."

Bucky said nothing as she cut off a navy truck. The blare of its horn followed them and then the Hummer down the narrow two-lane road leading out of the city. Instead, he stared at Darcy, not at her shoulders or her boobs, though he was sure they were nice. Perhaps if he were in different circumstances, if he _weren't_ a recovering brainwashed assassin currently hunting down his former handlers so he could exterminate them in as satisfying and bloody a way as possible, he might do so because she was gorgeous, her lips as red as her nails, her long brown hair curling down her back from her soft grey hat. He had chosen her because of that, because she screamed civilian; he had thought he could pass the remaining forces from the facility searching for him without attracting attention if he was riding with her. But apparently the cute civilian with the glasses and big blue eyes was not just a cute civilian but someone who drove a talking British car, who was bored by high-speed car chases with mysterious gun-toting, metal-armed strangers, and who had been, it seemed, kidnapped by Hydra.

Twice.

"Why?"

Darcy frowned at that. "What?"

"Why did they kidnap you?"

The sigh she unleashed now made her prior ones seem about as big as a Chihuahua compared to a Blue Whale. As she directed them under an overpass, she launched into an epic rant that he only half understood, something about roses and bridges and possibly cats, if he was deciphering her multiple mews correctly. He winced each time she took a hand off the steering wheel to make a dramatic gesture of angst and irritation and wondered, possibly, if he'd stumbled across the one person on the planet crazier than himself.

Gunfire ripped behind them then, Hydra close enough to try to bring them down. Bucky reached for his rifle and for the window, intending to return fire, when Darcy said, "No. Absolutely not. J, secure the passenger door and go dark."

"As you wish, Ms. Lewis."

Bucky heard a click from the passenger door then the window went dark, blocking the outside world entirely from his sight. Twisting, he found _all _the windows blacked out, including the windshield. "Are you nuts?" he bellowed, looking again at Darcy.

"Relax." She took a hand off the steering wheel again to tap the corner of her glasses. "I can still see."

A second round of gunfire sounded. A few of the bullets struck the trunk. Darcy took a hard right and Bucky flailed at the unexpected shift in momentum, at the fact that they were now plowing down a bumpy dirt road. He resisted the urge to punch out the window with his left hand, partly in fear of it exploding or from some other insane consequence occurring if he were to assault a strange talking car driven by an apparently crazy woman.

Instead, he turned toward Darcy, pulled himself up to his full height, and loomed, his left arm on clear display. "Lower the goddamn window."

She took her eyes off the alleged road long enough to arch a brow at him. "And lose my chance at a signed Deluxe Edition _and _a photo? Absolutely not. Now buckle in, Barnes. It's gonna be a bumpy ride."

It was, but he didn't sit back down or buckle in. He just loomed and gaped, the use of his name too shocking to even allow him to be suspicious. "How do you know who I am?"

Darcy sighed again. "Because I _read_, bucko. See above, re: Internet files, plus about six thousand textbooks in high school and college. You're Bucky Barnes. Hottest Howling Commando, he of the epic bromance with Captain Appleseed, currently Terminator-ing his way through evil Hydra forces. I—" She placed both hands back on the steering wheel and smiled, and if Bucky weren't currently cracking up at these unexpected twists to his day, at the car and the dame and her surprising awareness of who he was, without the usual side dish of fear, he might smile too, the one he remembers using to charm any pretty lady that crossed his path in the past. She turned to him, her face flushed and grin widening as she said, "Ditch the black, J. He's gonna want to watch the show."

"Yes, Ms. Lewis."

She slammed on the brakes then. The blackout vanished and the world outside reappeared, and Bucky had a moment to brace himself before Darcy jerked the steering wheel to the left and directed the car into a sharp u-turn. The car fishtailed around in a large field until it faced the Hydra Hummer, which made absolutely no sign of stopping until something slammed down from the sky between them with such force that the windows rattled and Bucky's mouth clacked shut. The dust cleared and, for one crazed moment, he thought that he saw Steve, but though the man who stood between the Hummer and the hatchback had broad shoulders and blonde hair like Steve, he most certainly was _not _Steve, his hair long and braided back and a hammer in his hand rather than a shield. He raised the hammer then and the sky began to darken, clouds gathered and thunder rumbled. Bucky watched, his jaw dropping, as the Hummer tried furiously to reverse, only to fail, its tires spinning in the soft dirt. Then lightning cracked and shot down to the ground in a sizzling arc, right to the blond man with the hammer in his hand.

"What. The fuck."

Darcy snorted. "Should have gone for 'oh my god' there, dude, but I'll give you the free newbie pass."

Rather than dying, the man with the hammer stood as tall and as strong as ever. Stronger, even, the lightning leaving armor covering his arms and chest. The Hummer stopped trying to reverse. Instead, the fighters inside instead began spilling out, guns in hand. Bucky snapped into action then, reaching for his own, but a hand on his arm stilled him. He looked at Darcy, found her eyes soft and her smile wry as she said, "You're gonna want to give it a minute."

Her reasoning clarified a second later when the man outside swung the crackling hammer in a smooth, gleaming arc to the ground. The ground quaked, undulating in an ocean wave from the spot of impact and toward the Hydra Hummer. Every man fell, the Hummer trembled, even the hatchback jiggled a bit, but the man stood as tall and as strong as ever. He looked back at the car and locked eyes with Darcy, shooting her a bright, breezy grin as he began to spin the hammer in his hand. She shook her head but smiled in return as she muttered, "Such a show off."

He understood, again, a second later when the man released the hammer. It flew across the field and smashed into the Hummer, sending it careening back down the dirt road. The men on the ground began to stand, some reaching for their weapons. Again, Bucky tensed, and again, Darcy stilled him with her hand. "Just wait. He's trying to impress you with his warrior prowess."

Bucky watched as the man held out his hand. The hammer charged back down the road toward him, but then the man swung his arm in a circle over his head and around his body. The hammer followed suit, veering off, crashing into each of the Hydra fighters and sending them back down to the ground, where they stayed, crumpled and still. The last dropped to his knees and raised his hands over his head before the hammer reached him. The man retracted his arm. Bucky watched as the hammer flew toward him, landing as smooth in his palm as a swan on water.

"Holy shit."

Darcy laughed again. "Sounds about right. Come on, dude. Time to watch me collect."

She grabbed her phone and bag and opened the door. But rather than head toward the hammer-wielding lightning man, she turned to her left, back to the rear of the car. Bucky shifted in his seat to stare back through the window, his jaw dropping again as he spotted Steve standing a dozen feet away. He locked eyes with Bucky through the window and lifted his hand for a small wave. Behind him, Bucky saw two other cars, one a black SUV and the other a dilapidated RV. A small brunette stood on its roof, her arm lifted above her head and a small device in her hand.

"You owe me, Cap! One Deluxe Edition, signed, _with _a booty-short photo."

Steve slid his eyes from Bucky to Darcy. "I suppose I do. But this isn't exactly what we agreed on. You weren't supposed to go into town."

Darcy pointed at the woman standing on the RV. "Tell that to the astrophysicist with the raging caffeine addiction."

"There's coffee in the RV."

"Which sucks. Some decent Joe is worth a little risk."

Steve raised his brows. "A little risk? Going for coffee is how you were kidnapped the last time, Darcy."

"I…" Darcy trailed off then. Bucky watched as she squirmed a little before puffing back up as an idea for salvation seized hold. "If you're going to yell at anyone for kidnapping, shouldn't you be yelling at the Scowling Commando back there?" She pointed over her shoulder at Bucky. "_He's _the one who kidnapped me."

Steve cocked a brow at that. "Funny, Bucky happening to cross paths with you like this."

"It _is _funny—"

"Especially since the only coffee place in that town is three miles from the Hydra facility."

Darcy squirmed again. She opened her mouth, shut it, shifted in place, then opened it again, but Bucky missed her explanation, the man with the hammer striding past the driver's door. He had the conscious Hydra goon hog-tied and slung over his shoulder; the rest he drug behind him, each fighter tied by the ankle to a rope that the man gripped in his free hand.

Reaching over, Bucky opened the passenger door and eased out of the car, in time to hear Steve say, "The innocent bystander who just so happened to be monitoring the base's security system while I was en route."

"I… maybe."

"Darcy—"

Bucky heard her sigh all the way back at the car. "But I saved him. They would have gotten him if I hadn't done something."

"Darcy—"

"She's right," he said, stepping forward. Steve and Darcy turned toward him as did Thor as he dropped his human cargo to the ground. Looking at Steve, Bucky continued, "The mission went south. They determined my exit route, pinched my bike before I got there. I had to improvise and hers was the only vehicle in sight."

A lie, the town, small as it was, busy in the early afternoon and plenty of other getaway vehicles in sight, but a lie worthy of a reforming former assassin, especially with the way that gratitude washed over Darcy's face. Bucky stared at Steve, waiting for his response, to see if he could spot the lie and if he would call him on it, but either he couldn't spot it or he wouldn't call it for he nodded a moment later and turned to Darcy.

"Then I owe you a thank you."

Darcy whipped back around toward Steve, hope brightening her face. "A Deluxe Edition thank you?"

Steve sighed but nodded.

"Deluxe Edition?" Bucky asked as he rounded the trunk of the car.

Darcy looked over at him. The only word that could be used to describe the grin on her face was diabolical. "The recently released epic box set of all of Steve's weirdo war films. _Including_," she continued, turning the grin upon Steve, "the newly restored footage of Cap's USO booty-short routine. Too rich for my poor blood, but they sent Captain Appleseed here a free complimentary box of them. And now," she said, fisting her hand in triumph, "one of them is mine."

Bucky glanced at Steve, who shrugged and then sighed as Darcy began a celebratory dance. And, to his surprise, and to Steve's too, whose jaw dropped as he looked at Bucky, his mouth twitched in something that had once been a smile.

"I suppose this means you owe me one."

Darcy stopped dancing and turned toward Bucky. She assessed him, slowly, deliberately, from tip to toe, and he let himself do the same now because, while he was a reforming brainwashed assassin currently hunting down his former handlers so that he could exterminate them in as satisfying and bloody a way as possible, she was not just a cute civilian, but someone who drove a talking British car, was cool during high-speed car chases with mysterious gun-toting, metal-armed strangers, and who had risked her neck to save his even though she had, it seemed, been kidnapped by Hydra. Twice.

The diabolical tint to her grin shifted into something bolder, something cheekier. "Is that right?"

Bucky nodded.

Darcy stared at him again, her cherry lips pursed in contemplation. "I suppose so," she said a few seconds later. "What's your poison?"

"Your number." Her eyes widened and so too did his grin. "Never know when I might need a future extraction."

She peered at him, likely as aware of the others, Steve and the man and now the woman on the RV, staring at them with varying shades of curiosity and disapproval. Bucky did not particularly care. He'd had enough people telling him what to do for a lifetime.

So too, it seemed, had Darcy for, a moment later, she dug into her purse, pulled out a pen and a scrap piece of paper, apparently some kind of receipt, and scribbled her number upon it. Then she held it out to him. Bucky closed the distance between them, his steps slow, the man with the hammer and Steve too watching him carefully. He stopped a few feet away, close enough to grab the receipt from her outstretched hand.

"Thanks, doll."

Her cheeks colored an intriguing pink. She cast him one last lingering look before turning and heading toward the RV. As she did, Bucky glanced once at the man with the hammer and then at Steve. He nodded once at Steve, who did the same, though Bucky knew he wanted to argue and plead and convince him to stay. Bucky wouldn't. Not until the reforming became the reformed.

"Can I at least give you a ride?" Steve asked.

"I got a ride," Bucky said, glancing up a final time at the RV, at Darcy, sitting now at the edge of the roof, before he turned for the distant Hummer. "But thanks."


End file.
